My Spiritual Home

Hello, my name is Brian Krueger. I first visited Incarnation during Lent 2023. Since then, Incarnation has become my spiritual home. The theme for our stewardship pledge campaign this year is “come and see.” It comes from the Gospel of John 1:35 - 42. Here we meet the first disciples of Jesus. They asked him “Where are you staying?” Jesus said to them “Come and see.” After spending the day with Jesus, Andrew found his brother Simon and said to him “We have found the Messiah.”

I remember my first visit to Incarnation. It was pouring down rain. The rain was the excuse I used the previous week for not going to church. I did not want another week to slip by, so I put on my raincoat and walked the mile it took to arrive at my destination. I instantly loved it and I’ve been coming ever since. I came, I saw, and I knew I had found the church for me.

What initially drew me to Incarnation? Well, I could walk to church. How great is that? But I can walk to many churches so what made Incarnation stand out? Just the fact that it is an Episcopal church had a lot to do with it. I knew that Episcopalians are welcoming and accepting of everyone. I have always appreciated a liturgical form of worship. And I was delighted to know that not everyone has to think the same way. There are many different political and theological beliefs here and nobody thinks twice about it. I’ve been to churches that require you to vote a particular way and to interpret Scripture in the same way they do.

How did I get here? I was born in Orange County. My parents were hard-working Germans, who while both being raised in Lutheran tradition, had become involved in the Jesus movement. We attended services at Calvary Chapel, Costa Mesa. At Calvary, I learned so much about the Bible, God and Evangelical Christianity. While much of my experience at Calvary was positive, I ended up slowly drifting away from the church and along with it my faith. If only I had known, then what I know now that not all churches are the same.

I cannot blame the lack of faith that came over me for half of my life on my fundamentalist upbringing. The truth is, I suffer from a disabling mental health condition. A much stigmatized one, at that. When I was first diagnosed, I cried. I felt as if accepting it would mean that my life was over. However, acknowledging my diagnosis was a relief. Now there was an identified reason for my suffering, one that was mostly out of my control. I am no longer credence to assaults on my character. I realized my limitations which put a spotlight on my abilities.

What led me back to church? I believe this was the work of the Holy Spirit. God never forgot about me. I started reading my Bible again and soon enough found myself back in the pews. I also started reading John Wesley ‘s sermons. As a former Methodist, I love that his name was mentioned at the meeting a couple weeks ago. John Wesley believed in ortho–praxis over orthodoxy. That is, our faith is something to be put into practice, not merely something we philosophize and theorize over. Although Wesley loved to do that as well, his focus was on preaching to and helping the poor and imprisoned. He started open air preaching to reach the poor and was called vile for it. Something he was quite proud of. He never wrote a systematic theology because he wanted people to come to Christ through their hearts not their minds. And that’s why I give. I do so from the heart.

When I decided to make Incarnation my spiritual home, I turned in my pledge card. I felt weird about it because it wasn’t much as I live on a fixed income, but I did anyway and I’m so glad I did. I have met some wonderful people here who have helped me in my spiritual growth, and I hope to continue growing here with everyone for many years to come.