​From the desk of Doreen Van Leeuwen LMFT, your pastoral care coordinator

I believe that the purpose of life is to mature. The goal of all life is to grow up. The purpose of life is to grow up and to become mature. Hedy Schleifer, LPC

So said Hedy, one of my favorite mentors. I think it shocked me. Maybe I thought I needed to be a good citizen, vote, love my neighbor and of course, God. What about working hard, having a good career, and saving money for the future? or be a good parent so my children could grow up happy? Wasn't the purpose of life to be productive, and of course, serve others and then have a good retirement?

I’ve kept pondering this, turning Hedy’s statement this way and that, always wondering where the truth is in that for me? For example, when someone says, “Oh, grow up”, I wonder, what is that saying? When children want to be “all growed up”, what are they wanting? How do you know when someone has grown up? Is being grown up the same as being mature? What are the markers “maturity”? What keeps us from maturing? We all know someone whose behavior doesn’t fit the size of their skin, right? Even though their age and looks say “grown up”, their actions say “child”.

My passion comes from a deep desire to make sure that you, a member or friend of Church of the Incarnation, that YOU are fully aware that you are on this journey into maturity. You see, we are ALL “going there”. No exceptions.

Is it about building character? Deep, rich, authentic character? A newborn child comes complete with a personality that pops out soon enough in the first year of life. But I’m not talking about personality per se. Character is tied to personality, but unlike it, I think character can be developed. These are qualities you cultivate, nurture and cherish because in them, you discover gifts you’d never dreamed of.

How do I know? I am experiencing it. I am living it. It’s hard to wrap in words, but I will try. I live in a state of peaceful contentment. When something disrupts that, I pay attention. I listen and sit with my discomfort. I pray and meditate about what I'm noticing. What am I learning about me, or about my situation? I ask the Holy Spirit to open my mind and heart, and to open all my senses. I call up a close friend and talk about my disturbance. I welcome whatever shows up, remembering that it is here for me to “grow up”. What also helps is knowing that I am not in this alone. I’ve never thought of it this way before, but Paul of Tarsus, author of parts of the New Testament in the Bible, prayed for me. Yep, he prayed for me. And for you.

Listen.

I pray...that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Glory may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation...having your hearts enlightened. Ephesians 1: 16-17. And again that according to the riches of [God’s] glory [God] may grant you to be strengthened with might through [God’s] Spirit in the inner [person]. Ephesians 3:16.

Paul is offering these soulful prayers for us! I think he is still praying on our behalf! He isn’t the only one...! God’s “grown up” child Jesus holds us in his heartful prayers: I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me, and I am in you... I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one. John 17: 21, 23

I write this so you know that YOU, on this journey to “maturity”, have powerful spiritual allies who have got your back! But sometimes we need more than spiritual allies. Church of the Incarnation cares about that. There are people to pray with you, or to give comfort, counsel, spiritual direction and pastoral care whenever you need it. The people of this church are your family, if you let us be that. We are here to embrace you, and all, in safe love, so that you and we can “grow up into maturity” together, right into the health and wealth of God’s Heart.